Just Nicky

Monday May 12, 2008

Let the chook out and fed her.
Got the baby up and gave her breakfast.
Hung two loads of washing done last night.
Cleaned up dog poo. Must remember to clean the bottom of one of my runners.
Made my breakfast and sat in front of the computer to eat it and write blog entries.
Changed a pooey nappy for Leila.
Took clean nappies out of the washing machine and put a load of towels in.
Hung the nappies on the line.
Made some more toast to munch while sitting at the computer making a new reward chart for Finn.
At the same time made Leila a paracetamol-laced bottle. She’s feeling a bit off after immunisations on Saturday.
Sat at the computer to update this entry and start on that chart.
Made 3 reward charts - for different purposes.
Changed Leila again and put her to bed. Hoping she’ll sleep for a couple of hours - she needs it.
Laminated 2 of the charts back to back in the one sleeve and put them up in Finns’ room.
Put the third chart up in the kitchen.
Emptied the disposable nappy bin.
Hung the towels out and put one last load of washing in. The sun is coming out so the washing might actually dry today.
Made a cup of tea (3rd for the day) and sat at the computer to update this entry and do some idle browsing.
Browsed for longer than I intended (as usual).
Had a quick shower and changed clothes. Don’t like to go out in public with baby snot on me.
Got Leila out of bed. She slept for just over 2 hours.
Changed Leila’s nappy and dressed her.
Made sandwiches for the kids and I for lunch.
Took Finn to kinder.
Came home and hung the last load of washing.
Went to the chiropractor.
Walked for half an hour after seeing the chiro. Usually I only walk for 10 minutes or so.
Came home, changed Leila’s nappy, gave her a bottle, made myself a cup of tea and sat at the computer.
Picked up Finn.
Came home and changed another pooey nappy.
Brought in some of the washing.
The nappies were still damp so I put them on the clothes horse under a heating vent.
Put some of Finn’s clothes in the dryer.
Put away Finn’s and Leila’s clean clothes and the dry towels.
Took food scraps and old potatoes down to the chook. Saw a mouse disappear under the chook house and resisted the urge to try to dig the little buggers out.
Ate dinner cooked by Mark. Tried to feed Leila and failed.
Prepared agenda for the kinder committee meeting.
Fed cats.
Fed dogs.
Put the chook to bed.
Went to the kinder committee meeting.
Came home.
Had a cup of tea and played on the computer.
Watched some telly.

Welcome to my week

Mark and I were talking about being industrious last night. I don’t feel like I get much done generally, but he says that I get heaps done. While I would like to be able to take his word for it, I just can’t. I don’t know whether this is because I have an erroneous belief that I’m lazy or whether I really am lazy.

To help me work out which it is I’ve decided to post a list of what I do each day for the next 7 days. This should enable me to see what I do with my time and, hopefully, I’ll have a better idea of whether I really am industrious or not.

I could do this on a piece of paper or in a journal that only I will see, or I could put it on our kitchen whiteboard where only the family will see. By putting it on the blog I’m hoping to keep myself honest. Putting it in a public place where I know at least a few people will see it should reduce any temptation to either embellish or edit. Believe me, I’m not looking for congratulations or validation. This is actually a pretty embarrassing exercise for me, but I think (hope) it will be a useful thing to do.

So here we go…

Getting There May 11, 2008

Getting There by MarkOMeara

I entered us in the Mothers Day Classic walk as a way of getting exercise and I certainly got it. By choosing to do the 8km walk I overestimated my fitness just a wee bit. I’ll be feeling it tomorrow.

Fortunately I’m seeing my chiropractor tomorrow. My back and neck have been wretched recently. All the walking certainly helped a lot - and that’s why I should be doing a lot more of it - but I’m definitely in need of some work. It will be nice to take a deep breath while lying down without pain.

After the first 4km I could easily have stopped, but Mark made several good points in favour of continuing. First, we came to do 8km so we should do 8km. Second, even though I said I would be happy to stop, I would beat myself up about wimping out. And third, he thought the second 4 would be a bit easier than the first. He was right on all three counts and I’m glad I deferred to his judgement.

I’m looking forward to our next effort in the MS Walk and Fun Run. We’re doing 5km around Albert Park Lake for that one. It’ll be a doddle.

Step by Step May 6, 2008

I was going to put a comment on Fiona’s blog, but then decided that I should post a little about our progress with Finn.

Today Finn and I had probably the best day we’ve had in a long time. We didn’t do anything astonishing. We took Leila to childcare, did some grocery shopping and hung out, playing on the computers together until it was time to have lunch and go to kinder. It was lovely. I didn’t have to raise my voice or threaten at all.

He did ask whether he could watch telly - he asks daily - but that’s all he did. He asked the question once, didn’t whinge when I said ‘no’ and then moved on to the next thing. I could have jumped for joy. It’s hard to believe that a week ago I had Lego thrown at me for the same answer.

I’ve been working really hard at not losing my temper with Finn. I try to keep my tone and demeanour reasonably even and calm when dealing with his poor behaviour. I will raise my voice or change the tone to emphasise my point, but I’m trying really hard to avoid smacking or escalating with threats I’m unlikely to carry out. Sitting in the corner is the standard punishment for transgressions and if that doesn’t work favourite toys spend some time out in the garage. Shouting and smacks do still occur - sometimes more than once in a day - but the intention is to avoid them wherever possible.

Finn isn’t going to be as big as James - we’re probably heading for 6′ or a smidge over - but like Fiona I don’t want him to learn that it’s OK to use greater size or strength to get what you want. I think this is a vitally important lesson for boys. I also abhor people who prey on those weaker than themselves and don’t want my son to be one of them. All Mark and I have every really wanted for Finn is for him to grow into a nice, kind and generous man and that’s where we are directing our efforts with him. He can dig ditches for a living for all I care, as long as he’s a nice bloke.

Smacking tends to happen in our house when whichever of us is dealing with Finn is tired and limits have been pushed repeatedly. I don’t like it because it’s just a knee jerk reaction and doesn’t address the issue at hand (which is often that he’s tired too). Certainly it can bring the behaviour to a sudden stop but I always feel worse, rather than better, for having done it and it does nothing for our relationship. So I try really hard not to do it. Some days, though, are very much a case of two steps forward and one step back. Days like today make up for that in spades.

Bruised by Love May 2, 2008

My TV ban for Finn remains intact, in spite of his repeated protestations that “I’ll be good this time!”. I have had Lego thrown at me and my hand bruised by being mashed against the linen cupboard door due to my refusal to give in. However each day he’s a little less insistent and (I hope) a little calmer and more constructive about how he uses his time. I have to be more attentive without telly than with it and that’s quite tiring. But that and the bruises will be worth it in the long run if our house is calmer and happier.

The rain hasn’t been much help. Getting Finn out pottering in the back yard is a great way to occupy his mind and body. He spent most of last week making Wombat Stew after reading the book at kinder. I’m looking forward to a bit of clear sky and sunshine - just a little - to give the boy a chance to make a horrific mess outside for a while. It would help me get some washing dry too.

I have to be grateful for the rain for the garden’s sake, though. I’ve planted lots of seedlings that I bought for my birthday over the last few weeks and they really needed it. Sometimes there just isn’t enough grey water to go around. I also put a heap of bulbs that I bought at the garden show in last weekend so they’ve been making good use of the precipitation, no doubt. Except, of course, for the tulips and daffodils I put in pots and left at the edge of the verandah, near the fence. They’ve been jumped by the dogs and need to be rescued and repotted. Something that can wait until I get some garden time tomorrow.

Mark is going to take charge of the munchkins for a bit of time each weekend to enable me to get out and play in the dirt. This weekend I’m going to stuff as much rubbish as possible in the big bin that gets emptied monthly, move the compost bin and clean out the chook shed. If I have time and energy after doing that I might get around to planting the fig tree my sister-in-law gave me at Christmas. I intend to espaliere it on the fence so that it won’t take up much room.

Hand me Down my Walkin’ Shoes April 30, 2008

I recently had a bit of a brainwave about getting out and about and doing some exercise. I tend to need a reason to exercise so I’ve found one. Fun Runs! or Walks really. I’ve signed us up as a family/team for three: The Mothers Day Classic, the MS Walk and Fun Run and Run Melbourne.

The latter two have fundraising pages here and here. I’m not asking for sponsorship, though, since that’s not why we’re doing them and the registration fees were expensive
enough.

One day I’d like to take this one on. I need to tell Mark about these three first …

Wise Words

Smile, breathe and go slowly. - Thich Nhat Hanh

No More Fish April 29, 2008

Mori - the survivor by Nicky P

Mori, our surviving goldfish, was dead when we got up this morning. I’d moved him to the smaller tank while we kept treating the big tank and, oddly, I think that might have been the death of him. So now we are fishless again.

I’m at a loss for what to do next. I don’t want to buy more fish if we’re only going to kill them.

Community April 28, 2008

I’ve never been a ‘joiner’ so the idea of community that people rabbit on about never really resonated with me. I didn’t get it when people talked about it in relation to playing sports or working for charities because I hadn’t done those things. But now I get it.

Joining the committee of Finn’s kinder was a spur of the moment-ish thing. I thought it would be a Good Thing to do. I didn’t really think it through much more until after I’d put my hand up. Then I decided that it would be good to be active in the kids’ kinder and school life. I reasoned that being the only deaf kid in the kinder would make Finn pretty prominent and that he should have a highly visible parent as well. I also thought I might enjoy it a bit.

What I hadn’t bargained on was the sense of connection it would give me. Suddenly I have a really direct interest in what goes on in my local area. An interest which is strengthened because, not only does it affect me and mine, but it impacts a group of which I am a member. I feel like what I have to say matters. It’s quite empowering. I don’t know whether this feeling will last once Finn finishes kinder and I am no longer a part of that group, but I hope it does.

One delusion I don’t hold is that I will ever be so integral to any community that it will cease to exist once I am no longer a member of it. The farkenace community of bloggers may no longer hang off the farkenace domain and there may be 2 or 3 fewer people taking part, but it still exists as much it ever did. There’s still a little group of people who blog and read. I’ve become much more aware of that community through doing the kinder stuff and it has immeasurable value to me.

Could do with a little of both April 24, 2008

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. - Irish Proverb

I’m pretty sure that I’ve got an ear infection. After I take Finn to kinder I’m going to see if I can get an appointment to see the doctor and get some antibiotics. I don’t like to take them, but I feel crappy enough that I’ll take anything I can lay my hands on.

I did get a laugh out of Death Proof last night, but I’m not sure it was the kind the quote is talking about. A long, uninterrupted sleep would be good too. Mine was punctuated by aches and pains. I’ll have another go at it tonight.