Just Nicky

Back June 27, 2005

So I went into the office for my half day today.

Of course, nothing has really changed. There’s been some personnel changes - some leavers, some arrivers - and some sort of mini re-org which doesn’t appear to have anything to do with me. All in all, it was very much the same as when I left.

It was all good and it was nice to see people. The main thing I noticed was how bloody loud the airconditioning is and how hard it is to hear stuff over it, but I’ll get used to it again and in the meantime the music Mark has put on my laptop will be a good distraction.

I was very happy when it was home time and my boys came to rescue me.

Here I come ready or not June 24, 2005

This cold has started to kick my arse somewhat. I haven’t been able to sleep very well and my head is much more buzzy than usual. I woke this morning feeling awful and seriously wondered whether I would be up to going into the office on Monday. In fact I wondered generally whether I really am ready to return to the fray.

Then I logged on to check my work emails and saw one showing how over burdened our team is and another inviting me to a governance meeting on Monday and the brain started ticking over big time. I found myself wanting to discuss this all with my colleagues, trying to think of ways to ease the burden.

So maybe it is time to go back. Half days only for at least the first week and then we’ll see how it goes.

Preparing for re-entry June 22, 2005

I’m off into the city today to have lunch with my boss and my favourite colleague to catch up on the goss and talk about how I will come back to work.

It’s hard to believe that I’m due back in the office on Monday and I’m not sure whether I feel ready or not. I don’t think anyone expects me to come back at full strength, but I’m a little nervous about just how much I’ll be up to. Most of the time I’m really good, but there are moments and days that are still not good.

I suppose there are 2 parts to this. One is that I kind of like mooching around at home and not having to deal with lots of people and stuff going on around me. I’m a bit of a hermit at heart. The other is that I’m responsible for a team of 7 people and I’m not much use to them if I’m back at work, but not really up to it. I’ve seen enough teams where the manager or team leader is essentially absent and they generally don’t run well.

Still, I have to go back at some stage and Monday is probably as good a time as any to at least begin the process. I’ve been in touch with our return to work people, but I haven’t heard back from them at all yet, so I’m hoping they have some grand plan that they’re going to tell me about. If not, I suppose my boss and I will just have to work it out between us and see how it goes…

Head warmer

My head is feeling the cold a bit more than usual at the moment so I decided to knit myself a new hat. This pattern was in last year’s Creative Knitting annual and was simple and quick to knit up - I started it Monday night and finished it yesterday.

It uses 2 yarns knitted together - a mohair and an ordinary 8ply. It’s difficult to see in the photo, but the mohair has pale pink and blue flecks in it.

Scientific research? Bah!! June 21, 2005

It may not help, but it can’t hurt.

Save the whales.

It’s difficult to leave

In response to Helen’s comment on my last entry:

Leaving the monolith and moving to a regional city, such as Bendigo, isn’t a bad idea. It’s one that I see as a very real possibility for us one day, but some stuff would have to happen first.

Mark would need to finish uni. I don’t think he could do it from Benders.

And, after all these years, it’s unlikely to be worth my while to resign from the monolith. Firstly, few other prospective employers are likely to match the package I’m on, particularly given my lack of any qualifications in anything. And second, there is always the very real possibility of a redundancy, which would be extremely lucrative. That’s the only way I’m likely to leave.

That’s not to say that I’m only hanging around for a redundancy (lest a monolith mole reads this). While I don’t hate the place, the people, or the job, there’s no real value in leaving. If I found myself in an untenable situation then I’d certainly jump ship - there’s no point in torturing yourself for money - but, other than that, it’s redundancy for me.

10 years

The 5th of June was the 10th anniversary of my permanent employment with the corporate monolith. Scarey thought.

I always swore I would never spend so long in the one job that I’d become one of those people hanging out for long service leave. And here I am.

The thing is, though, it hasn’t been the one job. The one employer, yes, but about 10 jobs (or titles at least - 4 in the last 18 months). I’ve been a telemarketer, customer service representative, system tester, user acceptance tester (2 jobs), test co-ordinator, test prime, uat test manager, lifecycle manager and now I’m a technology manager (although I manage people, rather than technology). And that’s how I’ve managed to stay 10 years - doing different things all the time.

And I am hanging out for my long service leave. I feel I’ve earned it. I won’t actually be eligible for it until late August because the time I spent on maternity leave without pay doesn’t count as part of my service, but I can’t wait to see it there in my leave allocation.

I’ve got a number of ideas about how and when I’ll use it. It just depends what comes up over time. But it’ll be very, very nice to know I’ve got it there to use.

Lemon Pepper Chicken

There was no great mystery or skill involved in the Lemon Pepper Chicken I made the other night.

It was just chicken fillets, dipped in egg and then coated with plain flour that had a liberal (as in a whole jar) of Lemon Pepper seasoning mixed into it.

It actually turned out a bit too peppery for my taste (and Finn’s), but Mark loved it and that was a good thing.

I was trying to emulate the Lemon Pepper chicken sold by a cafe near work and I didn’t really succeed.

Stiff neck, sore throat and snuffles (yay)

My neck has been bugging me over the last few days. It’s been tight and stiff down the left side since the operation, but recently the whole neck has been giving me problems.

I saw my lovely chiropractor yesterday and he put things right. He pointed out that I probably spent the 8 hours of surgery lying with my head turn sharply to the right and it’s put everything out of whack. It’s going to take a while to right itself.

Added to that I think Finn’s cold has started to catch up with me. My throat’s sore and I’m a tad snuffly. Not a great way to spend my last week off. I’m being well cared for though with Lemsip, Strepsils, cups of tea, choccy bikkies and cuddles on tap, so I think I’ll survive.

Getting better all the time June 14, 2005

Although it feels very slow, each day I’m getting better. For the most part I feel fairly normal, apart from the tinnitus, flashes of dizziness if I move too fast and a tendency to tire more quickly that usual.

The dizziness and tiredness are things I’m sure will pass with time. The tinnitus I think I’m just going to have to live with and, at the end of the day, that’s not all that much really.

It is annoying and it does wear me down. As far as I can tell from researching on the net there’s really nothing to be done about it apart from training myself to ignore it and providing my brain with other sounds to work with. The former will be something I’m sure I’ll acheive over time, the latter is going to be a process of trial and error as some sounds exacerbate the tinnitus.

The good things are that I think I may have regained a little bit of hearing in my left ear and today I drove on our trip to the beach (Mark drove back). The hearing could well be my imagination as it’s only twice that I’ve thought I could hear stuff, so I’ll wait until my next hearing test (in about six months) before I get too excited. The driving, though, was really, really good. It was an easy drive, just straight down the freeway without at a quiet time, without having to deal with too much going on, but it felt nice to be in control of a car again. I don’t mind letting Mark drive when we go places together, but I do like knowing that I can get in the car and go when I want - not that I’ll be going far for a while.