Day Thirteen - Frayed around the edges November 30, 2005
I didn’t think anxiety about work was getting to me, but setting the timer on the airconditioner this morning had me cursing in tones that made Finn nervous and preparing dinner nearly had me in tears. And I’ve apologised to Mark about a hundred times in the last 2 hours.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do. Either way I could get what I want or not and I don’t feel any certainty about which way to jump. It doesn’t help that I don’t feel there is anyone at work I can talk to about it who would give me good advice and information. These days you’re left very much on your own with these decisions.
Today was Mavis Wednesday. We didn’t go to DFO. I couldn’t face the thought of shuffling around there with her today. Instead I finished shortening her shirts for her and took her to do some shopping locally. I think she was happy to keep the day fairly low key.
An old friend of The Mavis’ is dying. It started as breast cancer a few years ago and now it’s in her brain. Mum’s philosophical about it. Marg has put up a good fight and is now ready to go. She has 7 kids - all adopted - and I don’t know how many grandchildren. She’s the current record holder at the hospital for receiving the most phone calls in a day and having the most visitors in her room at the one time. Apparently she’s pretty proud of that. She’s going home soon and Mum’s looking forward to going to visit her. The hospital is too far for Mum to drive on her own, so she hasn’t seen Marg recently.
I think Mum and Marg may have known each other for nearly 50 years now. They did the Mothers’ Club, Parish Council, Tennis Club thing together. For ages Mum did the flowers for the church and Marg played the organ at pretty much every mass. They’ve never been best buddies and in lots of ways they don’t have much in common, but they’ve always been there for each other and I know Mum will miss Marg when she’s gone - if only because she can’t complain any more about Marg taking over everything she starts.
Hope things clear up and that you get your equilibrium back.
Big changes on the work front rate somewhere up with deaths-in-the-family and relationship breakdowns on the stress scale. It’s no wonder you’re feeling a bit frayed around the edges.
Can I help? Do you want me to give you a call?