Just Nicky

Hot in the City December 28, 2005

It’s 3am and it’s still 27 degrees outside. 26 inside. I’m seriously considering turning the air conditioner back on. There are some storms on the weather radar that appear to be heading this way, but they’re taking too long for my liking. It’s too warm to put the dogs in their crates and I know they’re going to go off when the storm does arrive.

Finn has been very out of sorts since yesterday. At first we thought it was just tiredness and over-excitement from 2 days of Christmas, but I got a look inside his mouth today. He’s cutting his first 2 year old molar. He’s dribbling like a tap (he’s been through 4 tshirts today), refusing to eat much and periodically cracking up big time and refusing to be consoled. He won’t even accept a bottle, which is how we usually sneak medicine into him, so finally Mark & I had to hold him down and pour Baby Panadol into his mouth. I think we got half a dose into him. He’s woken 3 times since he went to bed. The first time he got up and watched telly with us for a while. The second and third times he hadn’t woken properly so I was able to settle him without picking him up. And, of course, now I can’t sleep.

To add to my woes, either Zelda or Emmylou just let go of the most disgusting fart. My money’s on Em. Zelda’s body couldn’t hold that much foul gas!

Christmas in the country December 26, 2005

We trundled off to the bush today for Christmas with my family. As these things go, it was pretty good.

More photos on Flickr.

Slaving over a hot oven December 24, 2005

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m baking. I’ve done muffins (packet ones, but who cares), almond bread (it’s half done, I still need to slice it up and toast it), a banana cake and there’s a carrot cake in the oven now.

It would be tempting to assume that I’ve gone into some last minute preparatory frenzy for Christmas Day, but you’d be wrong. This is all stuff to take to Bean’s. I figured, with all the people who may (or may not) be there, food to munch on while chatting, playing music, playing Scrabble or watching DVDs might be in demand. Once the carrot cake is done and cooled the whole lot will be going into the freezer to ensure it’s nice and fresh for the trip on Tuesday.

I’m feeling quite inspired so I might even do some more once my back & feet stop hurting from standing in the kitchen and I’ve cleaned up the mess.

Margaret Preston December 23, 2005

This is something I could do on one of the days I’m back at work in January while no one’s around

Margaret Preston exhibition

2005

I’ve started a couple of ‘year in review’ entries and abandoned them because they didn’t feel right. I couldn’t really capture 2005 in a series of highlights and lowlights because it really didn’t feel like that kind of year.

2005 was very much a part of a 10 year cycle that I’ve noticed tends to repeat itself throughout my life. In the past the cycle has culminated in a really bad year (always a year ending in 4) with a lot of destructive change and then restarted the next year with the beginning of new & good things for me. Yes, I know this sounds like new age crap, but it really seems to be the pattern of my life to date.

I could detail each of the bad years thus far, but this entry is about 2005, not the preceding 38 years of my life. So I’ll just give a brief précis of 2004, to give context to 2005.

2004 – I returned to work too early from maternity leave. I was not physically, mentally or emotionally ready to leave Finn. Dropping him at childcare each morning was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. And I returned to a workplace which had changed in ways I didn’t like. My old team was gone and I was working for someone who seemed utterly lacking in empathy. A re-org in the middle of the year improved that situation, but generally I was tired and depressed. My interest in life was just about nil. I’ve dealt with situations like this before by making a drastic change – dropping out of uni, changing jobs, moving house, ending friendships – but that really wasn’t possible this time, so I just had to work through it all.

2005 – This year was the beginning of the new cycle. Things turned a corner and began to improve by degrees. Having the acoustic neuroma diagnosed & removed took some of my hearing and left me tinnitus, but it also confirmed for me that I did not imagine the symptoms and that restored some of my self confidence. Taking iron tablets did more than remove my tiredness. It gave me back my ability to think rationally (at least that’s how it felt) and made my body work in the way I was used to it working pre-pregnancy. Seeing Finn going from strength to strength and loving childcare reassures me daily. Seeing Mark engaged by working in the classroom has made so much worthwhile. The imminent end of my time at the monolith is exciting and heralds the start of new things for me. I can’t wait.

2005 may be nearly over but it’s just the beginning.

Time goes by so slowly December 21, 2005

Every day in the office drags this week. It’s like I’ll never get to Friday. It will be Wednesday or Thursday for ever. And never Christmas, or time to go camping.

Everywhere I look I’m confronted by how much I want to be out of here. The work that I don’t want to do. The people I don’t want to see. I even hate the view from my window at the moment and I usually love looking out at the Dandenongs (although I can barely see them through the haze today).

My recently ex-boss asked today why I hadn’t applied for the roles on offer and I explained that it was time to be somewhere else, doing something else. It really comes down to that. This experience has yielded all it’s going to for me and I’m ready for the new.

Thanks, but no thanks December 20, 2005

I was asked this morning if I wanted an interview for the testing role here. I said no. The 2 colleagues who sit near me were also asked. The said no too (one did waver for a bit). I think the guys who are going through the applications were a bit embarrassed that the 3 most experienced testing people have refused to apply for the position.

Now I just need to wait for a date … but that could take a while.

Curiouser & curiouser December 15, 2005

I just got some interesting goss about what’s happening from a project manager.

When it happens it will happen quickly, ie. 24 hours notice and it will happen before Christmas.

He wants to keep me here to work on his project in January. I’ve indicated that that’s OK with me, provided I’m off for when I want to celebrate my birthday. If that happens it means I can take Feb off post school holidays and work on going back to work once Mark’s back at uni in March.

I found out more in 3 minutes talking to him than I’ve heard from management in weeks.

More Herding Photos December 12, 2005

One of the people who was at herding yesterday has put some of her photos up on DogzOnline. The pictures of the other dogs start here. Em’s on this page.

My favourite of Em is this one taken at the end of the day.

Weighting…

While Mark keeps dropping weight at a satisfactory rate. I seem to be unable to lose any.

I lost a couple of kilos in the first week or so, but that would have gone anyway. Since then I’ve been hovering around the same number going up by half a kilo, down by half a kilo, down again, then up again…

Of course, I haven’t been walking anything like as much as Mark has. By the time I get home at night Em’s already walked nearly 5km for the day, so she doesn’t really need another walk and I find it difficult to be motivated to walk without a purpose - like exercising my dog - to it.

I’m also rather prone to snackage while I’m at work. When one is bored ( and sleepy today), one’s thoughts turn to chocolate to break the day up, which is not conducive to weight loss.

This is not a great concern to me. I’d like to see a least a couple of kilos disappear so that I have a tangible result from the diet but even if I don’t lose anything, we’re eating a much more balance diet than before and that’s got to be worth the effort.