Just Nicky

What do any of us want? June 15, 2006

This was going to be a comment on Helen’s blog, but it felt much more like a post, so here goes.

I don’t have an answer to your dilemma, Helen. I’m not even sure if what I’ve got to say is useful. It may be complete crap, but I’m feeling kind of philosophical.

It strikes me that life is a process of setting, refining, trading off and discarding priorities and that sometimes the best that we can hope for is a compromise on the big dreams. This is not to say that we shouldn’t dream, but that our dreams should not be all or nothing. It’s great to dream and hope and wish and to throw our best efforts at it, but in the end we can only do what we can do and, for our own sake, need to recognise and be satisfied with that.

Maybe you can’t afford to build the house you wanted on your block. Perhaps you can find a way to build a house of a different/smaller/less expensive type. Or maybe you won’t build a house. Maybe you’ll find something to buy. If not a house, a flat or unit. Or maybe you’ll never buy another property. Is that really so bad? I know property provides a measure of security, but you could rent and invest some funds for security.

Then there’s the work vs. lifestyle thing. It’s fairly likely that the sort of work you would enjoy and gain satisfaction from is only doable in the big cities where you may not enjoy the kind of lifestyle you can have in the country. So the question is which is more important to you? The job or the lifestyle. If it’s the job then perhaps you should head back to Melbourne. If it’s the lifestyle then maybe you stay where you are, doing what you’re doing - or go further bush.

And perhaps all of the above is just the static and it’s hiding the real issue - what is THE thing you really want or need? What is it that the house, job, etc. is supposed to deliver? Maybe, just maybe, if you can identify that the other issues will become clearer. They might even disappear altogether.

There’s my 2c worth. I hope it helps at least a little.