Moving On October 2, 2006
As Mark has said, we have been talking about how bits and pieces of our recent contretemps keep coming up for us. I think this is a perfectly normal and healthy thing.
For me, it often has to do with aspects I haven’t understood or resolved in my mind. There may be behaviour that has caught me by surprise (as in the recent situation) or emotional issues that I still need to work through, or it may be that I haven’t yet come to a final summation of what was going on. To use an awfully cliched term, it’s all about closure.
This is not to say that this sort of stuff plays on my mind and is all I think about, but rather that bits and pieces pop up out of the blue. Sometimes they’re questions, sometimes little revelations, sometimes big revelations.
I remember once, while driving home from work I realised that a guy I had gone out with off and on for 2 years was, quite simply, an arsehole. I wasn’t aware I had been thinking about him and I hadn’t thought much about him for at least 12 months before that, but this epiphany came from nowhere and it was like a door slamming shut. I just knew in that moment that nothing I did warranted his behaviour and that the way he treated me was the way he treated everyone around him. And it felt very good.
Each time something about the recent issue comes up I have a small realisation that shuts that door a little more. They’re too numerous and specific to list here, but the overriding sense is that, as Mark says, there are no regrets and that we are much better off out of what was an increasingly unhealthy situation. It won’t be long at all before that door shuts and locks itself with a resounding thud.
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