Just Nicky

Disappearing into the distance November 13, 2006

I’ve been feeling a bit crappy over the last couple of days, culminating in tears and sleeplessness last night. It’s nothing in particular - just being pregnant and some of the discomforts that go with it got to me a bit. As tends to happen when I get a bit down in the dumps, I’ve been feeling a bit introspective and running over stuff in my head.

One thing that’s been on my mind is friendships. Like, I suspect, most adults I’ve had a few friendships come and go over the years and it strikes me that they fit broadly into 3 categories.

There are those that you are relieved to be rid off. The people that you would cross the street to avoid running into again.

Then there are those which you neither celebrate nor mourn passing. They were nice people and you got on well but they belong to a different time and place in your life and you in theirs. You wouldn’t mind running into them again and catching up over a drink or a meal, but can’t imagine any more than that.

And then there are the ones that are truly to be mourned. The really good friends who for some reason are no longer in your life. There may have been an event which acted as a catalyst or, and I think this is much sadder, they may have just drifted away for no apparent reason. You don’t know what happened or why and you probably never will. All you do know is that someone you really liked having in your life is gone and not coming back.

These last ones are often rarities and I think that makes them all the more sad. I can think of one or two over the years and, while I’d love to get hold of those people and ask them ‘why?’, I know I’ll never really know. There’s a possibility that they don’t know either or, if they were going to tell me, they would have told me at the time and they’re not going to now.

I know it’s pointless mulling over them but, every now and then, I think of them and feel a little sad.