Just Nicky

In the cave November 21, 2006

The house is all dark and cavelike. The airconditioner is on and Finn is hunkered down in front of the telly. He probably shouldn’t be just sitting there staring at the box, but it’s still 30+ degrees outside so there’s no way I’m taking him out to play. That said, the temperature has started to drop and the weather radar shows a band of storms just the other side of Geelong so it won’t be long before it will be quite cool here, but by then I imagine we’ll have other issues - like wind, rain and possibly thunder.

I did go out and hang washing and clean up poo earlier and I was quite sweaty and slightly annoyed by the time I’d done, but it was still satisfying to have it done. Mark & I made a list of stuff we want/need to get done for Saturday’s bbq and there’s a couple of those things I can start on so that’s my next objective.

I will have to add deadheading the roses to the list since all this changeable weather has pretty much ruined the flowers on a couple of them and they look like they’re suffering from some dread disease. Hail, rain, scorching sun and wind will do that.

Resisting the urge November 20, 2006

I want to feel motivated to do stuff today but I just don’t. There’s nothing wrong with me - at least I don’t think there is - I just don’t really feel like doing anything.

I just passed up a trip to the library with Mark & Finn because I wanted to get some stuff done around the house before it gets too hot, yet here I am in front of the computer. Not that I feel I’m missing out by not going to the library for storytime. I probably shouldn’t admit it, but I hate it and I’m very glad not to go. It’s one of those ‘mum’ things I just can’t get a handle on which is a pity because Finn quite likes it.

But to get back to my lack of motivation. Normally this could be the precursor to a bit of a funk. I’d get annoyed with myself for not getting off my bum and doing stuff when there’s plenty around here to do - particularly with the bbq on Saturday. Then I’d get grumpy with Mark for not doing the things that I’m not doing (I didn’t say this makes sense, by the way) and, in turn, get more annoyed with myself for being unreasonably grumpy with him. The whole thing would fester and feed on itself until either I’d burst into tears, or lose my temper, or Mark would come to the rescue and do all the stuff that I was going to do and, regardless of which of these occurs, I’d end up feeling slack and useless. Really not terribly smart, is it?

So I’m not going to do it. I have a cup of tea which I’m going to drink. I will spend another fifteen minutes in front of the computer while I do this. Then I will go outside and hang the load of washing that just finished, after which I will clean up dog and cat shit. I will hate doing it but, once it’s done, I’ll be very happy that I’ve done it. If it’s not too hot after that I will stay outside and pull out some weeds and pick up some of the bits and pieces of rubbish that are lying around. At the end of it I will be hot and probably a little agravated but I will be better off for it.

Time starts now…

A New Beginning

Our little family has deserted MT for the time being. After a day and a half of concerted effort the outstanding issues got just a wee bit much for our resident geek, so we’re giving WP a fly.

I like my new look and feel and, thus far, the blogging interface, so it’s all good.

On the Mend - maybe November 17, 2006

I was about to post about how much better I’m feeling and how Mark & I both seem to be on the mend, but Finn just did something so gross that I may have to go and throw up.

You really, really don’t want to know…

Drawing a blank November 16, 2006

I assume from the number of duplicate comments and entries that everyone is getting a blank page after posting an entry or comment to a blog. We have no idea why it’s happening.

The good news, though, is that the entry or comment is working the first time. If you go to the farkenace page or the blog’s page and get the latest version, ie. refresh. It should be there.

If your experience is different from the above, let us know. Leave a comment on here or email Mark.

Sickies

I was up in the middle of last night throwing up. I was still very nauseous this morning, but I slept a bit more and now it’s passed. Mark is feeling ill and, after taking Finn to childcare, has been in bed all day. I don’t think he’s going to work this afternoon. When I went outside this morning I noticed that one of the dogs has had an upset stomach since last night.

We think the culprit might be the marinade I used on the chicken for last night’s dinner. It was premade, from a bottle and seemed fine. It’s the only thing that Mark, me and the dog have in common (the dogs got the leftovers and cleaned up the grill tray). We don’t think it was the chicken itself because it was only bought on the weekend and had been in the freezer until yesterday. It looked and smelled perfect.

For once being a fussy eater has worked for Finn. He refused to eat his dinner last night so I made him a sandwich from the chicken. He ate a little of the chicken but took most of it out and ate the bread. He did complain briefly of a sore tummy last night, but he’s taken to complaining of a sore something when he’s looking for attention or trying to avoid doing something he doesn’t want to. He was fine this morning and childcare haven’t called us yet to come and get so I’m assuming he escaped.

Weight Lifting November 14, 2006

Sometimes just making a decision to do something about a long-standing problem is enough to lift a huge weight off your shoulders. It’s a nice feeling.

Obsession

Misguided November 13, 2006

**note: You might need to read my previous entry to understand why this one has arisen.**

Adj.
1. misguided - poorly conceived or thought out; “an ill-conceived plan to take over the company”
ill-conceived
foolish - devoid of good sense or judgment; “foolish remarks”; “a foolish decision”
2. misguided - wrong in e.g. opinion or judgment; “well-meaning but misguided teachers”; “a mistaken belief”; “mistaken identity”
mistaken
wrong - contrary to conscience or morality or law; “it is wrong for the rich to take advantage of the poor”; “cheating is wrong”; “it is wrong to lie”

A few months ago someone used the word ‘misguided’ about me in an email to Mark. It was part of a string of adjectives, none of them nice, but it’s the only one that has really stayed with me. That’s not completely true, I do remember ‘bitch’ as well, but it’s so common in it’s usage in those situations that it hardly seemed worthy of notice. ‘Misguided’, though, seemed so odd that it keeps popping into my head.

I have various reactions to it. There’s a bit of confusion since the term seemed out of place in that particular discussion. There’s outrage at the arrogance of this person presuming to judge me and my actions. And then I’m kind of amused by it, as I was by the whole email.

The email said a lot about the writer and their attitude to Mark & I. The actual content was arrogant rubbish, but this unwritten information is the stuff that I’m glad to know. Although I would cross the street to avoid this person, I’d like to thank them for the email. It made more sense than they’ll ever know.

Disappearing into the distance

I’ve been feeling a bit crappy over the last couple of days, culminating in tears and sleeplessness last night. It’s nothing in particular - just being pregnant and some of the discomforts that go with it got to me a bit. As tends to happen when I get a bit down in the dumps, I’ve been feeling a bit introspective and running over stuff in my head.

One thing that’s been on my mind is friendships. Like, I suspect, most adults I’ve had a few friendships come and go over the years and it strikes me that they fit broadly into 3 categories.

There are those that you are relieved to be rid off. The people that you would cross the street to avoid running into again.

Then there are those which you neither celebrate nor mourn passing. They were nice people and you got on well but they belong to a different time and place in your life and you in theirs. You wouldn’t mind running into them again and catching up over a drink or a meal, but can’t imagine any more than that.

And then there are the ones that are truly to be mourned. The really good friends who for some reason are no longer in your life. There may have been an event which acted as a catalyst or, and I think this is much sadder, they may have just drifted away for no apparent reason. You don’t know what happened or why and you probably never will. All you do know is that someone you really liked having in your life is gone and not coming back.

These last ones are often rarities and I think that makes them all the more sad. I can think of one or two over the years and, while I’d love to get hold of those people and ask them ‘why?’, I know I’ll never really know. There’s a possibility that they don’t know either or, if they were going to tell me, they would have told me at the time and they’re not going to now.

I know it’s pointless mulling over them but, every now and then, I think of them and feel a little sad.