A stumble January 4, 2008
One of my resolutions that I didn’t post was to write a blog entry every day for the month. I missed yesterday.
It was probably because I was experiencing a stumble of another kind. I hit a kind of low and bumpy patch and was beset by depression and anxiety and was too busy trying to think of ways to hide to write a blog entry. I don’t know that it has passed, but I certainly felt better for going on our drive yesterday and (fingers crossed) I’m improving today.
This bout was triggered by a small, silly moment and I think I felt all the worse for knowing that. Mark had to explain something on the computer to me. I’m not good at taking direction and I’m all the worse when it comes from someone close to me. Some words were exchanged and I instantly felt small, stupid, useless and really anxious. (Just typing that has made my throat close over, but I’m not going to dwell) Once in this state all I wanted to do was go to sleep, to hide away. I have Mark’s gentle bullying to thank for dragging me out of the house yesterday and getting me into the sunshine and close the beach, which can only be good for the spirits.
Today is about not backsliding so I will be keeping busy with things that will help my frame of mind. I might put that reading list together, or attack another cupboard, or both.
Hope you feel better, we can be our own worst enemies sometimes.
I’m looking forward to seeing your reading list.
Yes I hope things are better today too. It is hard to stay on an even-keel with all the exhaustion of Christmas, New Year and the weather.
A post a day is ambitious. Maybe an average, or a yearly total? This winter is kicking my butt with depression and anxiety. I’m taking naps and reading. And trying to breathe. It’s about all we can do, no?
I think a post a day is a good target for me at least. When I have longer totals I put of adding to them.