Linkin’ February 20, 2008
I’ve come across two blog entries this morning that have hit a nerve with me and made me think. And they’re definitely worth a blog entry from me.
It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light. - G K Chesterton
As I’ve said before, I read The Happiness Project every day. Sometimes the entries are a bit wordy to read in between scooping things out of The Little Princess’ mouth and repairing The Foozle’s lego and though they rarely prompt any action, they often make me think a bit.
This entry has really resonated today. Particularly the Chesterton quote above.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve been talking to my shrink about just how hard I find it keep myself moving and interacting. How what I want to do most of the time is crawl under a rock somewhere and hide from the world. Becoming Kinder president and taking both kids to swimming lessons are part of my plan to push myself out there. I enjoy these things (and I always knew I would), but I still find really difficult to do so I’m always fighting the little voice (which the shrink tells my is my critical superego) that says I should just stay home and do nothing because that’s easy and safe.
Hiding is easy. Being a living, breathing, interacting human being is hard.
Oprah’s Clutter Man: “It’s Never About the Stuff”
I read 43 Folders most days. Some of the posts are about things I’m not really interested in, but a lot of them are about reducing clutter and getting greater control over your life. These posts are important to me, since I feel like that is a lot of what my life is about at the moment.
They’ve talked about Peter Walsh a couple of times and I’m busily resisting the impulse to add his books to my growing unread pile. I will buy them one day, I know, but I’d like to try to do without them for a while first. Their latest post about him has a couple of quotes that hit a chord with me:
We all have stuff. What we had to do was tell people’s stories through their stuff, and see them realizing what their relationship to the stuff had become.
What is your vision for the life you want to live, and do your life choices reflect that vision? Specifically: Is your home a space for the life you want?
I’ve been aware for a long time that my relationship to shopping and having stuff is very much learned from my mother and that, for her, it was all about growing up during The Depression and trying to recoup the related emotional loss and emptiness by having things. I’m trying to unlearn what she taught me (when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping) and teach myself new habits to pass on to Finn and Leila. This is why I’m resisting the temptation to buy Walsh’s books.
I also want to learn how to live in the space we have, rather than wanting to move to a bigger house, just to accommodate our stuff. Our reality is that we won’t be able to afford to move from this house for some years and Mark has said a few times that he never, ever wants to move again, which is fair enough. But we can’t keep bringing things into the house without at least as much leaving. And I want our home to be comfortable, attractive and easy to live in. In short, we need to make this space the home we want it to be for as much of our lives as possible.
This all resonates with me very much! I’m obsessed with getting rid of stuff as a way of controlling my life. I would also love to get to the point of having a house that is a “home”. A place that is organised and functional and permanent.
Oh boy. Both your links hit a chord here too. I would very happily crawl under a rock (with a cup of tea and a good book) and never come out again.
Once upon a time I did a Myers Briggs test. Naturally I am an introvert, which - it was explained to me - simply means that I get my “energy” internally, rather than through interactions with other people. So true. It takes so much energy to keep putting yourself out there, that every now again the rock, book and cup of tea just have to come into play to recoup expended energy.
As for “stuff” - I grew up in a household that was so small we had 6-monthly cleanouts so we’d all still fit. I now live with someone who is the ultimate hoarder. Sometimes it is not an easy fit. We battle over a small space on top of a bookshelf that I managed to clean up recently. I have to keep removing items he puts there because it’s a nice empty space!
Anyway, that long-winded response is probably because I no longer blog myself. But surprising to see how we seem to be running down similar tracks. Hope you’re well.