Just Nicky

Hand me Down my Walkin’ Shoes April 30, 2008

I recently had a bit of a brainwave about getting out and about and doing some exercise. I tend to need a reason to exercise so I’ve found one. Fun Runs! or Walks really. I’ve signed us up as a family/team for three: The Mothers Day Classic, the MS Walk and Fun Run and Run Melbourne.

The latter two have fundraising pages here and here. I’m not asking for sponsorship, though, since that’s not why we’re doing them and the registration fees were expensive
enough.

One day I’d like to take this one on. I need to tell Mark about these three first …

Wise Words

Smile, breathe and go slowly. - Thich Nhat Hanh

No More Fish April 29, 2008

Mori - the survivor by Nicky P

Mori, our surviving goldfish, was dead when we got up this morning. I’d moved him to the smaller tank while we kept treating the big tank and, oddly, I think that might have been the death of him. So now we are fishless again.

I’m at a loss for what to do next. I don’t want to buy more fish if we’re only going to kill them.

Community April 28, 2008

I’ve never been a ‘joiner’ so the idea of community that people rabbit on about never really resonated with me. I didn’t get it when people talked about it in relation to playing sports or working for charities because I hadn’t done those things. But now I get it.

Joining the committee of Finn’s kinder was a spur of the moment-ish thing. I thought it would be a Good Thing to do. I didn’t really think it through much more until after I’d put my hand up. Then I decided that it would be good to be active in the kids’ kinder and school life. I reasoned that being the only deaf kid in the kinder would make Finn pretty prominent and that he should have a highly visible parent as well. I also thought I might enjoy it a bit.

What I hadn’t bargained on was the sense of connection it would give me. Suddenly I have a really direct interest in what goes on in my local area. An interest which is strengthened because, not only does it affect me and mine, but it impacts a group of which I am a member. I feel like what I have to say matters. It’s quite empowering. I don’t know whether this feeling will last once Finn finishes kinder and I am no longer a part of that group, but I hope it does.

One delusion I don’t hold is that I will ever be so integral to any community that it will cease to exist once I am no longer a member of it. The farkenace community of bloggers may no longer hang off the farkenace domain and there may be 2 or 3 fewer people taking part, but it still exists as much it ever did. There’s still a little group of people who blog and read. I’ve become much more aware of that community through doing the kinder stuff and it has immeasurable value to me.

Could do with a little of both April 24, 2008

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. - Irish Proverb

I’m pretty sure that I’ve got an ear infection. After I take Finn to kinder I’m going to see if I can get an appointment to see the doctor and get some antibiotics. I don’t like to take them, but I feel crappy enough that I’ll take anything I can lay my hands on.

I did get a laugh out of Death Proof last night, but I’m not sure it was the kind the quote is talking about. A long, uninterrupted sleep would be good too. Mine was punctuated by aches and pains. I’ll have another go at it tonight.

The Lost Wednesday April 23, 2008

I’ve spent another 3 hours in bed and feel a little better for it. Joanna came over to help kid wrangle and provide some non-sick adult company and has headed off for a walk with Mark and the munchkins. I couldn’t face it. I might see how I go bringing in some washing shortly.

The way I feel today reminds me very much of how I felt after I had the tumour removed from my inner ear. I’m walking around touching the furniture to keep my balance and trying not to move my head too much. Mark suggested that maybe I have an ear infection and that sounds likely. If I’m not greatly improved tomorrow morning I will try to get to the doctor and see what they have to say.

Today has gone by while I slept. It’s a pity. It was a nice day. There’s always tomorrow, though. Fingers crossed.

Dead Yoda Is

Yep, I have killed another Siamese Fighting Fish. I am a serial fish murderer.

As well as that I am sick. Suddenly and really annoyingly sick. One minute last night I was cooking dinner, the next I wasn’t sure whether I was going to throw up, faint or both. My back and neck ache, I get dizzy every time I move and I really can’t face food. It really sucks and it’s most inconvenient.

As Mark said, he can go to work while he’s still ill, but he can’t go to work while I am ill. He’s still pretty unwell, but he did a truly heroic job of kid wrangling on little sleep this morning while I stayed in bed. I honestly don’t know how I would have coped with Finn and Leila if he had gone to work this morning. He’s gone back to bed and Leila is asleep so it’s just Finn and I at the moment, but even so I’ve thought about asking Mark to get up and help.

It’s not that Finn is being particularly naughty. He’s just being a healthy, attention-seeking four year old in a house full of sick people. Even mild noise and excitement is too much today. So the poor kid can do little right.

Looking at the computer and typing is making me ill now. Argh! I might go stare at a wall for a while. They don’t move.

Yoda and the Tetras April 20, 2008

Yoda and a Tetra by Nicky P

Yesterday we went out to Bunnings. On the way home we stopped at the local aquarium shop and got a new Betta and five Cardinal Tetras for my little tank.

The Bettas were displayed in the usual teeny tiny tanks and each tank had a name on it. I actually found myself turned off some of the fish based on the name on the tank. Who would want to buy ‘Barry Hall’ or ‘Steve Irwin’? Who could buy ‘B1′ and leave ‘B2′ behind? In the end I chose Yoda. He’s the colouring I liked the most, he seemed nice and active and I didn’t object to his name.

I wanted some little fish to add a bit more interest and movement to the tank so we opted for some little Cardinal Tetras. We wanted four, but one fell out onto the floor while being taken out of the big tank so we got a fifth one free. These little guys are tiny, brightly coloured and supposedly very hardy. I didn’t name them because they all look the same and it was probably a good thing.

One tetra disappeared not long after we put all the fish in the tank. While Yoda hadn’t seemed hugely bothered by them, he had chased them a little bit and I wondered whether he’d caught one. I suppose I’ll never know. The other four seemed fine for the rest of the day, but when Mark got up this morning there were three dead tetras on the bottom of the tank. The lone survivor has spent most of today hovering in one spot, looking very nervous.

Wood for Trees April 15, 2008

I feel very much at the moment as if I’m so lost in the detail of life that I’m missing some bigger picture. The business of putting one foot in front of the other seems particularly engrossing. I’ve no idea why but I don’t feel too perturbed about it. I just have this vague niggling that I’m missing something that would be obvious if I could just drag my head up from the day-to-day.

That said, I think I may achieved one big picture task this morning. I’m about 90% sure (subject to consultation) that I’ve picked the school that Finn will go to next year. It’s not the large you-beaut one with all the bells and whistles closest to us. It’s a small, ramshackle-looking place further down the road located on the almost deserted airforce base. They will be moving to a new site in a couple of years, but for now they’re in a combination of heritage listed but not well maintained buildings and newish portables patched together by covered walkways.

The whole vibe of this place worked better for me than the other school. The plainly spoken vice-principal who showed us around (the principal is on camp with the big kids). The acknowledgment of their limitations while still showcasing their achievements. The fact that there was a kid in one prep class with a cochlear implant and a hearing aid and he wasn’t paraded before me (like a couple special needs kids at the other place), he was just there going about his business. And, finally, I could see Finn there. I couldn’t imagine Finn in the other school.

I feel very much like my work is done for today. I’m sorely tempted to blow off my shrink appointment this afternoon. The beginnings of a cold, the first day of my period and continuing hassles with my back have me disinclined to trundle off to see her. The telly and some knitting are calling to me. I might wait an hour or so and see if their siren song is still strong before making a final decision.

I am a bad fishmum April 9, 2008

Despite my optimism, this morning I found Old Gregg quite still at the bottom of the tank. No amount of prodding would move him so he is most definitely dead.

I feel bad about that. He was an apparently healthy, happy and active fish when I brought him home and I killed him.

I’m not entirely sure how I killed him. I suspect it may have been constipation from the freeze dried food I gave him since his decline started immediately after eating. Or it could have been that the water was not right - I could have been a bit hasty about putting him in there. I’ll probably never know for sure.

So now I have a tank. I will need another/some more fish at some stage. I’m just not sure when or what. Another Betta? Some other robust tropical fish? Or will I just stick to gold fish since Finn’s are doing brilliantly?

Before I decide I will dispose of Old Gregg’s remains and clean the tank.